Irony defined.
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Don't they have handlers?

This is a gem. A true reason to keep your people off television - especially when your lead person is considered to be on the edge of intelligence to start. Believe it or not, this is on the Whitehouse web site.

Bush Kid

"Eye-rack and Eye-ran used to be enemies? C'mon - who you tryin to kid? Them instaturgents are fightin' side by side with the 'raqis aginst us..."
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Hop hop hoppin along the bunny trail

President Bush held a press conference today, and the press showed up. Here are some exerpts:

In Iraq "I see progress. I've heard people say, Oh, he's just kinda optimistic for the sake of optimism. Well, look, I believe we're gonna succeed."

Later he went on to say, "and the other good news is that Easter's coming. And that's a positive development. It's when Christ rolled the rock out of the way, and there was a bunny with chocolate eggs." The president paused and fixed a determined gaze on the assembled reporters. "I believe this."

When asked if he believed in Christ rising from the dead, or the Easter Bunny, the president expressed some exasperation. "These things are both true. It's not an either or. Christ, the Bunny - and our success in Iraq for that matter - it's just this darn negative, doubting press. Ya'all gotta stop bein' so, uh... fulla questions."

He was asked if he understood the lack of support from virtually every sector of our public, the international public, and the Iraqi public for the continued apparent flailing, rudderless effort in the Iraq quagmire - led by him.

"I'm confident - I believe - I'm optimistic we'll succeed. If not, I'd pull our troops out. If I didn't believe we had a plan for victory I wouldn't leave our kids in harm's way. Ya gotta believe is all I'm sayin. You believe, and it'll happen. Like that baseball movie. Pasture of Belief..."

Richard Underwood of FOX commented, "Sir, I think that's Field of Dreams you're referring to."

"Yeah, Dicky! That's the one. Where they just built it an' people came. Like Iraq. We built it...well, we started the, uh, the uh... march to democracy is how I like to call it, and they came - all the Iranians and instaturgents. But if you just believe, then they'll, it will, we will... the thing is it's gonna stop being so bad."

Scott McClellan was seen just off stage making a slashing gesture across his throat to the president, presumably to urge him to end the conference.

"Well, I gotta go. Just 'memmber Easter's coming. Believe in the Bunny, an you'll get some chocolate. An believe in Jeesus an' you get to live ferever, too. Thank you and Gawd bless."

Gnome me by my sword

I just killed the Travelocity Gnome.

If I go down for it...well, I did it for you. For everyone. For thinking mankind.

Because he was idiotic.