The importance of location

I got a call yesterday from a woman who would not give her name. There was a frost in her tone from the first word.

"I ordered a house number sign from you some time ago."

"Great. How can I help you?"

"You can deliver my sign. We ordered it a long time ago, and it still hasn't arrived."

I told her that I promise on my web site that they will receive their order within four weeks, and that I usually get them there within three.

"Well I ordered on May 16th. You must have forgotten."

I don't forget orders. I do a lot of things, but not that one. So I promised some research.

Turns out I'd shipped on June 2nd, but I'd shipped Priority Post because they had a post office box, not an address to which I could send UPS. The Postal service has lost four of my sign orders now. I called her back and explained.

"Well, I don't know what to tell you... we live on an estate in Malibu. It's three acres. That's huge. We don't have UPS come here because they just get lost on this place."

Then more frost and the tinge of a threat. "We're going to the Vail home on Friday, and this sign has to be there. If it's not... I don't know what I'll do."

Why such bloody drama? You've got a $30 million place in Malibu, and something probably not insubstantial in Vail... does the house number sign matter so much you've got to mount the Bitch Offense?

And further - she wouldn't give me her name. "That... you don't need to know. Just ship the sign to my husband's name." She's probably under strict advisement from her publicist not to give out her name when she's angry.

But I'm a consummate pro. I'm here to help. Her sign is going out tomorrow without even a trace of spittle on it. (But if you want their address in Vail, I've got it right here.)

This is why this business is as close to retail as I'll ever get.