Makin the Break
I have the Red Dog. She is 75 pounds of rippling, loving, fearsome, doggy dependency. She is all dog. None of this, "she thinks she's a human!" cutesy crap for Red. She's a dog. She chases squirrels and cats and really anything that's not on two feet. Trucks, bicyclists, gnus. She wants them all.
Red becomes anxious when I leave. She has serious separation issues, and if you knew her history, you'd understand. But she takes it out by emptying the garbage. Or stealing things off the counter and burying them. Box of Triscuits, cheese wrapper, banana. Whatever. If it's got food origin, she'll either bury it, or she'll take it into the living room and leave it for me to find when I get home.
I get the message.
Last week I found my biggest, sharpest kitchen knife (Santoku blade, granton edge) just inside the front door. I could easily have stubbed my toe on it. It had residue from something I'd been cutting. She pulled it off the counter and carried it to the front door and left it for me. I would be anthropomorphizing if I imbued the act with more symbolism than I think she intended. I don't think she got the fact that it was a ten inch long knife. Really I don't. It just had the residue of food on it.
Jazz the Dingo is staying with us right now. Jazz and Red met last year, 12 weeks after Jazz emerged from the womb. Red has been the female influence in Jazzy's life. She's taught her most everything she knows. Except for a few special interests Jazz has (mad-cow-like tail chasing: Red has no tail. Barking at animals on the television: Red seems blind to the radiation box.)
So Jazz is here for three weeks while Bill and Margo wander around Africa.
My sleep is broken. My pants are wet. My house is filthy.
Jazz leaps onto my bed at the first sign of light. 5, 5.30 a.m. Or if the neighbors turn on their bathroom light in the middle of the night. She just flies up and starts wagging. Food now! Let me lick you!
Yes, the licking. Licking many things. Any things. My pants are a big favorite. She slips under the desk and just starts sniffing and licking. I know it sounds all filthy-web-site-ish, but leave that thought behind please. She just finds good stuff on my pants and licks. And the carpet. The couch. Red's ears. The wall. Grass. Tires. But my pants are the most annoying target.
Another Red anger trait is digging. She stopped this some time ago, but the behavior has returned with Jazz. I understand she's got some jealousy going. But she's dug these two enormous holes in the back yard. There are two holes, because I put a rock the size of a cappibara in the first one. So they moved to another. She and Jazz just get into this zone, and they dig like wolverines. It's insane, totally obsessive. And it's a mess. They go outside for whatever it is dogs go outside for, they come back in, and it's muddy tracks across the kitchen, living room, office. Everywhere.
All I can make of the digging is that they're headin' for the fence. This is going to be their big break. But Jazz-tard must be the brains of the operation...they started in the middle of the yard. Why not get a little closer to the fence? Please?
Red becomes anxious when I leave. She has serious separation issues, and if you knew her history, you'd understand. But she takes it out by emptying the garbage. Or stealing things off the counter and burying them. Box of Triscuits, cheese wrapper, banana. Whatever. If it's got food origin, she'll either bury it, or she'll take it into the living room and leave it for me to find when I get home.
I get the message.
Last week I found my biggest, sharpest kitchen knife (Santoku blade, granton edge) just inside the front door. I could easily have stubbed my toe on it. It had residue from something I'd been cutting. She pulled it off the counter and carried it to the front door and left it for me. I would be anthropomorphizing if I imbued the act with more symbolism than I think she intended. I don't think she got the fact that it was a ten inch long knife. Really I don't. It just had the residue of food on it.
Jazz the Dingo is staying with us right now. Jazz and Red met last year, 12 weeks after Jazz emerged from the womb. Red has been the female influence in Jazzy's life. She's taught her most everything she knows. Except for a few special interests Jazz has (mad-cow-like tail chasing: Red has no tail. Barking at animals on the television: Red seems blind to the radiation box.)
So Jazz is here for three weeks while Bill and Margo wander around Africa.
My sleep is broken. My pants are wet. My house is filthy.
Jazz leaps onto my bed at the first sign of light. 5, 5.30 a.m. Or if the neighbors turn on their bathroom light in the middle of the night. She just flies up and starts wagging. Food now! Let me lick you!
Yes, the licking. Licking many things. Any things. My pants are a big favorite. She slips under the desk and just starts sniffing and licking. I know it sounds all filthy-web-site-ish, but leave that thought behind please. She just finds good stuff on my pants and licks. And the carpet. The couch. Red's ears. The wall. Grass. Tires. But my pants are the most annoying target.
Another Red anger trait is digging. She stopped this some time ago, but the behavior has returned with Jazz. I understand she's got some jealousy going. But she's dug these two enormous holes in the back yard. There are two holes, because I put a rock the size of a cappibara in the first one. So they moved to another. She and Jazz just get into this zone, and they dig like wolverines. It's insane, totally obsessive. And it's a mess. They go outside for whatever it is dogs go outside for, they come back in, and it's muddy tracks across the kitchen, living room, office. Everywhere.
All I can make of the digging is that they're headin' for the fence. This is going to be their big break. But Jazz-tard must be the brains of the operation...they started in the middle of the yard. Why not get a little closer to the fence? Please?
posted by C at 9:22 AM
1 Comments:
the knife is Red's way of reminding you of the skirmish between your big toe and the knife with gravity being the devil's matchmaker. Red is saying "leave me alone again and I will make you suffer worse than that".
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