The Easy Start 1-2-3

It’s called the Easy Start. “It’s as easy as 1-2-3! Push the red bulb three times, pull the cord, and mow!”

Catchy little snippets that put my worries to rest. The manufacturers of lawn mowers clearly understand that the thing people hate most in life is the reluctance of most lawn mowers to start.

It was indeed easy to start. The first four or five times, it was really easy. My brother-in-law borrowed it and he called me after mowing my sister’s lawn. “It’s so easy to start!” he said.

That first summer it was pretty much a good tool to use. You put gas in it, it started, you mowed.

It was the following spring when it became the Not So Easy to Start. I topped off the gas tank, then pulled the cord ten or twenty times. I pushed the red bulb three times for a few pulls of the cord, then five, then seven. I found that with ten pumps the machine would start, run for a screaming two seconds, then die.

Then I found if I did the ten pumps, pulled the cord, then fell to my knees and pumped the red bulb like a pulsing heart, I could keep the machine running. It was like CPR without the mouth part. And just like successful CPR, after doing this for a little while I could stop pumping, and the machine would continue to run on its own for a while. Weakly, but enough to mow a short lawn.

My brother-in-law borrowed it again. He called me. “What happened to the mower?”

“I don’t know. I think it’s still hibernating.”

He called the Lawn Ranger to take care of his wife’s lawn, and told me I could come pick up the mower.

I took it back to Home Depot to have them look at it. “You guys should rename this the Easy Start for One Season.”

Their sense of humor was... absent. Though they had a good excuse for this in the lineup of just-out-of-the-garage mowers facing them.

I called them a few days later. “We rebuilt the carburetor.”

“Why? It’s not even a year old.”

“ ” was their response. They didn’t care to discuss it. The silence inferred that it ran now, and I should just come get it. And they did let me pick it up - without even a discussion about charging me. Maybe this should have been a big ol’ red flag, but I was just glad to get my mower back.

It was never the same mower. It was sometimes the Kinda Easy to Start, but by July it was the Impossibly Strenuous and Aggravating to Start. I decided to adjust some screws on the side of the engine. How much worse could it be?

In fact, I got it to run again. I was terribly proud. I’m very handy, but lawnmowers are notoriously humbling to work on. But I got it to the point of a seven pump start, ten to fifteen seconds of CPR on my knees, followed by a fairly strong run.

This lasted two mows.

I decided that Home Depot, free or not, was the wrong solution. I’d pay to have it fixed, and that way I’d have some accountability. I went to the Lawn Mower Guy in West Seattle. His shop has been out here for longer than I have, which is to say at least ten years. He was a wise crotchety C. Everett Koop looking character who always tried to sell me up to a Snapper mower whenever I took my old mower in. He fixed my ancient Toro for a flat fee of $75 “good toward the Snapper of your choice if you trade up within 30 days!”

So I went by his shop today. It’s empty. There’s a peeling ‘For Lease’ sign in the window.

I thought to myself, “How on earth could he go out of business?” Then it occurred to me that he didn’t go out of business. He left after making $75 twenty thousand times. He’s on Maui now. You don’t have to mow lava.

All I know is that he better have passed his secret knowledge on to someone. Because they keep making Easy Starts.